Oy, with the Poodles already!!

   I’m an emotionally compromised girl at midnight going through withdrawals over Gilmore Girl’s: A year in the life. My sister, aka my best friend and fellow fangirl, is in Arizona with her husband (because apparently after marriage you have to live with your spouse), and I must vent in an open format. This contains spoilers beyond belief, so you unfinished watchers, look away, or peruse my other photographs and poetry posted when I was not an emotional wreck. For the others just as shaken as I, let’s talk.

     I spent an hour and 45 minutes ranting to my poor mother like a lunatic, rocking back and forth, at one point curling my upper body into the band of my sweatpants, and biting into a slice of chocolate cake with no fork, no hands and obviously no dignity,  occasionally breaking out into a strange scream/cry/laugh as a break from my verbal judgement of this so called revival. All I can say after those infamous “four final words” of

“Mom.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m pregnant.”

Is, WTH Amy Sherman-Palladino!!

Ever since season 5, the character of Rory Gilmore had begun to backslide into a very different person than the out of the box, level headed, brilliant bibliophile we fell in love with in previous seasons. Rory was amazing because she was like no one else in her world, she was calm, kind, focused, principled, intelligent and wise beyond her years, but when she slept with her married ex boyfriend, got fired off a paper and stole a boat, all within a single season, she began to morph into someone who was disappointingly of her generation. She was no longer the beloved sweetheart of Stars Hollow with bright eyes, and sharp mind but a whiny, rude, obnoxious complainer who turned into a bit of a brat (raise hands if you wanted to slap her in season 6). The revival brought her character even farther from her original personality, by having an affair with an engaged Logan (seriously Rory? Has home wrecking become a hobby now??), and leaving her rootless, with no job or money. All the other seasons had described her as ivy league bound, with a path, a purpose and great resilience, as displayed in her first years at chilton, yet none of the strengths that made rory, rory redeem her in her quest to find a new job. The old rory would never have a friends with benefits relationship, even if she was with him first, the old rory would never forget her actual boyfriend, or have three phones, or have a one night stand, and neither would she allow herself to be dragged along by a dead end profession.

    I respect the fact that they acknowledged the difficulties of 30 somethings in the work world, but Rory’s inability to follow the signs and recognize the destructive patterns of her life is uncharacteristic. Detours are natural, normal, and even necessary in life, but when your entire life is one existential crisis, than something is very very wrong; as sad as it is to say, Rory Gilmore has become horribly, disappointingly, and unavoidably, unoriginal. She is no longer quirky or unique, that someone who is also bookish, witty, and freakishly linked to their mother like I, can find kinship with. Rory was never meant to be like everyone else, which is what made her remarkable to the people she met, and unforgettable to the men who loved her. Yet now, she is merely a cookie cutter millennial.

     Rory’s hopeless descent into obscure millennialism is just one of the things that makes the #finalfourwords, infuriating. First, this revival should have been the answer to the “lost season” that was season 7, Amy’s chance to bring back her voice and write the ending she wanted, finally tying up the loose ends. This revival should not have been the explosive shot to the heart that lead to mindbending oblivion that sent us spiraling, leaving us to ask even more questions that when we began: “Will they make a season 2?” “What about Paris and Doyle?” “How will she raise the baby?” “What about Rory’s job?”. As I see it, the season had a chance for clean ends, Rory could have taken the Stars Hollow Gazette and modernized it completely, employing the 30 something club and marking her own voice in her beloved town, she could have become a teacher at Chilton as promised by the headmaster, they could have even left us with the positive hope of her as an aspiring author and the teasing validation of Jess by her side, but NNNNOOOOOOO…. This brings me to my second grievance. Amy Sherman Palladino chose to fall hopelessly into the demographic of revamps by making Rory the next Lorelai, Jess the next Luke, and Logan the next Christopher. What is even worse about this is that I cannot even sympathize or support Rory in her surprising descendance into motherhood, but instead shout at the screen “Are you serious???”  Rory and Lorelai are dealing with very different journeys of unplanned motherhood. Lorelai’s story was one of a young teen mother, fighting against all odds trying to handle the new role and life she wanted to make, and in the end became a successful business woman with her life together. Rory on the other hand is a rootless millennial, complaining about problems that face everyone in her generation, acting as though the world owes her a job, instead of pulling it together and forging ahead, then falls through on her birth control. Though no experience is ideal, I can support a single teen mother who is working hard for a better life for herself and her child independently, that an unemployed 32 year old who’s hooking up with her engaged college ex-boyfriend. Thirdly and lastly, I’m disappointed with how the revival has fallen into the rehash that has befallen all other popular television shows of the 2000’s, which is the desperate attempt to beat a dead horse by mindless reboots. I can imagine the OG Lorelai and Rory circa. season 2  sitting on their lumpy couch with their pop tarts, pizza and take out, Rory with her sweater paws and sweet face, Lorelai, with her bedazzled tie dye t-shirt watching television and mocking the very thing that they have become. A reboot.

     I do not need a fuller house, the heroes do not need to be reborn, and the X Files do not need to be released. With the other two Gilmore girls finally settling into their individual identities as strong, happy women I feel it would’ve only been fair to let Rory finally be at peace with herself instead of leaving her life even more complicated than when it began, and  leaving a committed fanbase with a cliffhanger that may or may not be brought to fruition. What is most hurtful of all is that Rory Gilmore, never reached her potential, not only academically, but emotionally. Now when, and if, I can rewatch the earlier seasons I’ll only see her as the girl who’s life would backslide into one terrible decision into the next until she was left pregnant, jobless, and living with her mom. Let her have her pitfalls (as we all do), but let her remain as someone to strive for, a brilliant multi dimensional woman who was witty, eclectic, durable and ambiverted, do not let her become a one dimensional hot mess. May Rory Gilmore forever be the girl that girls wanted as a best friend, and that guys would never get over.

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