I want change but don’t want to go through the changing,

results of a process I never have to feel.

Oh God help me bear this.

This aching in my chest for something missed, 

when I hear that song, 

say that word 

see that sight

think that thought

Taste the sensation 

My heart flutters and the wings of this innocence remembers when it was young 

and knew nothing.

I now wish I didn’t know, 

and I mourn for when I was hidden behind the veil of childhood 

till I pressed close to the fabric of my life that covered my eyes 

and through the threads of my reality I caught a glimpse of what I would have to live in.

One day, with my veil removed,

I see the things prior hidden by ignorance or mere rejection 

the things I retreated from would push me to the center 

where prior I was once in the periphery. 

But that veil would be replaced by a finer gauze through which I look. 

It’s open perception is my filter, made from the fabric of my worldview. 

I’m no longer blind but I am still checked. 

This is guidance not restriction.

I wish I could go back before the strain to push forward 

little did I know I would long to go back.



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