I want change but don’t want to go through the changing,
results of a process I never have to feel.
Oh God help me bear this.
This aching in my chest for something missed,
when I hear that song,
say that word
see that sight
think that thought
Taste the sensation
My heart flutters and the wings of this innocence remembers when it was young
and knew nothing.
I now wish I didn’t know,
and I mourn for when I was hidden behind the veil of childhood
till I pressed close to the fabric of my life that covered my eyes
and through the threads of my reality I caught a glimpse of what I would have to live in.
One day, with my veil removed,
I see the things prior hidden by ignorance or mere rejection
the things I retreated from would push me to the center
where prior I was once in the periphery.
But that veil would be replaced by a finer gauze through which I look.
It’s open perception is my filter, made from the fabric of my worldview.
I’m no longer blind but I am still checked.
This is guidance not restriction.
I wish I could go back before the strain to push forward
little did I know I would long to go back.